Sunday, June 29, 2008

21 More...Motherhood Lessons Part 2

*Sleep is most definitely not overrated. It is necessary, delicious, and never to be taken for granted.

*Wonder bras are ingenious. They are also worth every. single. penny. those swindling bastards at Victoria's Secret charge us.

*Epidurals are directly from God.

*Food tastes better if it flies into your mouth like an airplane.

*Sweat pants and no make-up days increase in correlation with the number of children you have.

*Baby smiles are contagious.

*It is time to end the bath, hastily, when the baby starts tooting in the water.

*Maternity clothes can be worn long after the baby has been born. They are a long term wardrobe investment, spend accordingly.

*Poo goes through some sort of sensory metamorphosis (and not the kind that leaves it a beautiful butterfly in the end) when it's in a potty chair as opposed to being in a diaper.

*Diapers should never be opened if the baby is still grunting.

*Cups and bubbles are the best bath toys ever.

*Some dance parties start at 7AM.

*Baby breath is never stinky, in fact having it blown in your face is actually one of the sweetest, warmest sensations on the planet.

*If an electronic toy doesn't have a volume control button and/or an off switch, do not buy it.

*It does not matter what you wear to a party, as long as your children are dressed adorably.

*Nothing says I love you like cleaning diarrhea out of a potty chair.

*There is nothing more satisfying in life than having your baby smile and coo when you enter the room...except maybe having your toddler say "This is fun, Mom" when you're simply sitting together on the couch.

*Popcorn is a grain and carrot cake is a vegetable.

*Repeatedly pumping breast milk does actually result in a strange urge to moo.

*When it comes to choosing between being a mother and having an "a baby never stomped all over this body" body, there is absolutely no choice to be made. (motherhood wins, by the way...in case that wasn't clear)

*Parenthood is the hardest job on the planet, but also the best part of life...

1 comment:

Shanna said...

I just stumbled on your blog- thanks for a good laugh this morning! :)

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