21 things that motherhood has taught me...

*Kisses and glittery shoes make any boo boo all better...for girls anyway.

*Disciplining your child in order to teach them a lesson is harrrrrrrd, but worth every excruciating minute when your child finally learns the lesson and becomes a better, happier person in the end.

*Hand sanitizer must be carried at all times, even when you think you'll only be gone for a few minutes and don't plan to leave the car. If there is something gross to be found, children will not only find it, they will rub it all over themselves.

*Time flies.

*Watching your child accomplish a goal is so much more rewarding than accomplishing something yourself...like, say...folding a load of laundry.

*Because I said so is a totally legitimate reason to be told to do something.

*Love for your spouse grows exponentially while watching them care for your children.

*Keeping a sense of humor makes sleep deprivation and...well...just about anything bearable.

*Every parent deserves and needs time alone. Said time should be guiltless, as it actually benefits the whole family.

*When your parents told you "This hurts me more than it hurts you," they were telling the truth, even though it seemed as though they had to be full of crap.

*Clothes hangers, princess magic wands, and bead necklaces are easily converted to weapons.

*Having a sick child in the hospital is one of the most difficult things a parent will ever experience.

*Sometimes alcohol consumption is necessary after children have been put to bed.

*Dirty dishes will wait until nap or bed time. Snuggles and kisses and silly comments from your children won't.

*Food half eaten by your child does not contain calories.

*It is possible to love more than one child with your whole heart.

*The following body liquids do not contain germs if they come out of your child: drool, snot, spit up, pee, eye goo, sweat, and tears.

*Poo and puke will never fall into the germ-free category, no matter whose kids they come out of.

*Naps are necessary, even for grown-ups sometimes.

*Half eaten granola bars on the ground may suddenly appear appetizing to a toddler.

*Snuggling under the covers with your children is by far the best Saturday morning activity on the planet. Previous childless trips to breakfast or for coffee were wayyy overrated.