It's not you, it's Little...

Our visiting nurse is trying to break up with me. That is, she thinks that Little is so healthy and is doing so well that we don't need her to come anymore. I'm not sure how I feel about it all. On one hand...it is so, wonderful...so truly, truly exciting that Little seems to be doing so much better since her last surgery. This really is the kind of news that the parent of a child with health concerns dreams about getting, so I really am happy...but...on the other hand...I'm scared! I'm not sure I'm ready to go out on our own just yet, with months between cardiology visits and no one checking up on Little in between! Eek! I think I feel a panic attack coming on!!

Mostly it's Little's continued struggle with eating that worries me. I sometimes find myself living for that every two week home visit from our nurse, so that I can be reassured that I am, indeed, NOT starving my child and that she IS still gaining weight, though sometimes I wonder how. Ack! Maybe this is somewhat comparable to being addicted to crack (go with me here, people)...in that once I'm able to wean myself off of the home visits I'll be able to feel secure in going it alone for months at a time? But I'm thinking that the whole weaning part is the key! I mean, no one expects a crackhead to just stop cold turkey...well not without medical and psychological support anyway! If so Betty Ford would be long since out of business!! Even smokers have the patch to get them through the rough spots! ::wheeze:: But in the end, it just isn't my decision to make...so I guess we'll just wait and see what our cardiologist thinks. I suppose getting branded as too healthy to have at home medical care can't be all bad, right? I just pray that they're right.